As I said to my class yesterday evening, Happy Belated Mother’s Day! You may or may not have seen it, but I posted on my facebook page a photo of my mom and me when I was 13, a few months before she passed away. Every year, Mother’s day seems to have a different affect on me and my family, depending on how much we miss her, how much we really REALLY wish she was here, and how nostalgic we feel like being on the day that’s dedicated to mothers everywhere. This year it was a day of sadness and joy for me — sadness when I was looking through the photo albums to find a photo of her to post and share with you all, and joy as I thought back on the memories I have WITH her and without her, meaning the years afterward dedicated to loving and caring for the rest of my family.
One of the biggest challenges I faced as a teenager was the weight gain I experienced as a result of refusing to eat any home-cooked food. My mom was an extremely good cook, and she fed us healthily and very well. I wouldn’t realize it ’till years and YEARS later, but I went through this phase where I just didn’t want any home cooked food. I wanted frozen meals, frozen hot pockets, fast food, anything but the traditional filipino food we had been eating every day for 13 years of my life until then. What was great about accepting and realizing I went through this phase during high school is that it allowed me to acknowledge why I had changed so much physically (you wouldn’t think so, but at the time I really didn’t know why I was weighing 165lbs as a 5’2 girl in my teens). It does seem like a simple idea, doesn’t it? “Well, how could she NOT know why she had gained 30 lbs?” You’d be surprised at how far denial can take you. You’d think when I was greeted by a distant relative with, “Rochelle! You’re FAT now!” it probably should have hit me then , but everyone finds their way on their own time and denial took me pretty far into my twenties before I was able to become accountable for my own health.
I’ve met so many women who are overweight, trying to “lose weight,” yo-yo dieting, following programs and taking fitness classes 2x a day, seven days a week. The biggest breakthrough I’ve had in my own weight loss journey was NOT the week where I didn’t tap into my Weight Watchers weekly points, and it was NOT when I successfully exercised 6 days in a row, or even when I got through teaching my first fitness class without feeling winded afterward. It was when I finally became accountable for my weight gain. I knew why it happened, I accepted it as my own doing and stopped mentally blaming my family for not stopping me from doing what I did, and from there I could move forward with being my own reason for getting out of it.
So anyway, that explains the post about me following my Weight Watchers program and taking the time each day to count and log my points. Someday I’d love to become a receptionist or even maybe a meeting leader to help other people who gained weight as teens and carried it with them to young adulthood. I’m much happier and more successful with my weight loss goals now that I’ve taken off the blinders and accepted that I am where I am today because of what I’ve allowed to happen to me. And that goes for the success I’ve found in losing 20lbs too — I did it because I took control of my experience and changed it for the better.